Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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