Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize