I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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