Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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