well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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