It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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