There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
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Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize