I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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