Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize