I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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