They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We are all done wearing pants today
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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