The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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