I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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