You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize