toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize