Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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