he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize