So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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