Don't make out with my wife yet
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize