Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize