You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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