that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
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my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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