Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize