You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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