Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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