we made out on top of his cat.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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