I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize