I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize