that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
false alarm, still single
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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