is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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