4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I need water and some morals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize