Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize