I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize