haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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