I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize