I will die if light touches me.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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