with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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