He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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