No stitches, just platelets and will power
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize