drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
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Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
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I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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