dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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