I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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