i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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