I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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