I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize