just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize