I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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