oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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