All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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