I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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